Seriously. Initially, I picked this book up because I just didn't believe that I could "Have a New Kid by Friday." I was so wrong.
With our oldest (daughter), Love and Logic
worked so perfectly that I couldn't see a need for anything else and just assumed that every kid would respond well to the reasoning and such that this method recommends. Our son quickly showed us that we were way off base. He would become so mad/frustrated/embarrassed that he didn't seem to be listening to our "reasoning" and we would drone on about this and that before "disciplining" him. The fit would continue, power struggle would ensue, and our mediocre parenting would immediately bite us in the butt. Big fail. By the time he was three he was pretty much in control (although we still presumed ourselves to be). Double fail. Have a New Kid by Friday puts in to practice some very Love and Logic-like principles (like natural consequences), but adds a few simple rules (which is EXACTLY what I need--rules to follow!) such as my new favorite:
Say it once, turn your back, and walk away.
One of the problems we were having was that we just didn't think that he got what we were saying so we would explain it thirty ways from Sunday, allowing the struggle to continue and the fit to escalate. By following this rule you take the wind out of his sails and regain control.
There are a few more simple guidelines in the first few chapters of the book (each of which has been highly effective and left me feeling so much calmer and more in control as a parent), but the real meat is the second two-thirds. Dr Leman covers every conceivable topic, from bedwetting (don't make it a big deal, be mildly sympathetic, clean up and move on) and grocery shopping (don't offer treats as a reward for good behavior...of which I'm hugely guilty) to temper tantrums (yup, say it once, turn your back, and walk away) and whining (remove the offender to a place where he/she can whine without bothering you) with simple, easy to implement guidelines.
Since we started, Scout has become infinitely more polite (most requests now begin with 'excuse me' and include 'please' and 'when you're done'...I never thought that we could get that far in such a short amount of time), kinder to his sisters ('I'm sorry, are you okay?') and has nearly quit making his ugly 'I'm mad at you' face at me. Thank goodness.
What's your favorite parenting rule of thumb? Now that I've mastered "say it once, turn your back, and walk away" I'm ready to add to my repertoire :)
: Admittedly, this is not a very pretty book, but it's an absolute goldmine of good parenting ideas. The basic concept of Love and Logic is to give children a good deal of control by giving them reasonable choices, and letting them fail sometimes (and accept the natural consequences). For example: cold weather strikes, child won't wear a jacket. That's their choice (jacket or no jacket. you decide.), and it won't hurt them to get a bit chilly. Take the coat along, they'll come to understand that they're cold and put the jacket on (or not, and they'll still be cold, but it's their choice, and will likely put the jacket on next time). If I could only have one book in my personal library this would be it.
: This would be the second book in my library and is full of utterly practical, realistic advice on raising children. His other book, 
, is also excellent and perhaps more straightforward. It goes age by age to get you started on the right foot and to help you teach your child to be happy and self-entertained rather than constantly demanding your attentions. Although it doesn't offer a whole lot in the way of disciplinary tactics from a remedial standpoint, it really falls under the category of teaching children to be disciplined.
: I got this book and read it cover to cover before our second was born. I patted myself on the back thinking that I would never have these sorts of troubles, and that I'd just keep the book on the shelf. Wrong, obviously. It's easy to read with lots of helpful anecdotes and cute little comic strips, and provides incredibly practical, effective advice to apply right away. Basic things that you'll feel like you should've been able to figure out like not breaking up your kids' arguments for them and not comparing them.
: While this isn't a discipline book per se, it's become very clear to me that a grouchy, overtired kid is bound to be the wild terror in the family (speaking from experience). This book provides clear advice from birth on up to help your child get an adequate amount of sleep, including dealing with night terrors and scary dreams, special needs, and new siblings.
: This book is a great place to start. The authors really illuminate what life as a boy is truly like with plenty of anecdotes about how boys are indoctrinated into male culture, what role the educational system and its methods play in shaping a boy, a great discussion of relationships between boys and their parents, and lots of concrete ideas about how to raise an emotionally whole boy from birth to early adulthood. Absolutely eye-opening.
